if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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