Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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