Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
