I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
farters have to be the big spoon...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize