What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
