I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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