you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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