Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
