She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
