Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize