What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
