Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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