Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
