well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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