I can tuck mytits in my pants
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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