I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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