He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
