Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When are your genitals available?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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