that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
