where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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