Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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