a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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