is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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