doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
