oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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