we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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