We're facebook friends in real life
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
