I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
