Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
