1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
