Say something about gay babies.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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