so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
