I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
