i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
