you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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