Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
