We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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