just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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