That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
