Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
