I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
