i already hear my dad disowning me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
