In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize