Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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