Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
