Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
