I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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