i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
