So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
