I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
