dude i'm inner monologue high
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
