the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just googled if crying burns calories
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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