i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
