I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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