I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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