why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
