Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
