I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
