arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
