oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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