Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
