What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
