She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
