She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He? As in you personified your dick?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize