with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
