When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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