how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
